The Family Education Center Richmond, VA (804) 261-7979 email to info at familyeducationcenter.com

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How We Can Help You: A Sample Story

John and Sue had been married for 8 years, and had two children, ages 6 and 3. Sue was starting to feel "disconnected" from her husband. When she shared her feelings, John was at first defensive, but then admitted that he too had been feeling some distance and confusion over what had changed in their marriage. A friend told Sue about the Family Education Center, and John reluctantly agreed to make one appointment for an evaluation session.

Not psychotherapy

At their evaluation session, John and Sue learned about the Couples classes we offer. They learned that the class is not psychotherapy, nor is it simply advice from "experts" on how to make marriage work. John felt comfortable enough that he agreed to take the class.

In the class, John and Sue learned the "Structured Dialogue" process, a simple, learnable, talking-and-listening exercise. Using this process, they began to talk and listen to each other in a more effective way. As each began to feel heard by the other, their tensions were reduced, and they began to see that their angry feelings were actually feelings of hurt and fear. They reported that they were "talking again," and feeling closer to each other.

John was able to see that Sue had been feeling overwhelmed by the tasks of her job and the demands of motherhood, and that she needed a different kind of attention from him. Sue was able to see that John needed a different kind of attention from her as well. They learned that because they had been expressing these needs in different ways, and the needs themselves were different, they had both felt hurt and alone. As Sue put it: "We learned that we have different love languages."

Conscious Marriage

As they continued to talk and listen to each other, John and Sue began to feel a renewed sense of hope. They felt understood by each other, and they felt their loving feelings for each other return.

After completing the course, Sue and John were clear that they wanted to hold on to the progress that they had made. They saw what they needed to do, and how to keep on doing it. They agreed that they both wanted a "Conscious Marriage", and that they shared the responsibility for keeping it that way. They agreed to stay conscious, and to help each other share information about facts and feelings.

Sue summed up their experience this way:

"We have the tools. If we continue to use them properly, we will get better and better at this. If we stay conscious, we can have the relationship we want!"

Contact us for more information on how to help your marriage!